Hello,I am a Tzeentch's witness... [Archive]

PimpMyDisk

06-23-2007, 09:15 AM

I thought you were a salesmen, selling this (http://vanlandw.com/images/spam.jpg). :o

You just hurt my disk's feelings...
I'm just trying to make a few warrior-priests see the light..er dark.

Anyway here,have a pamphlet.It's titled "Three eyes and seven hands:how Tzeentch helped me be a better Marauder".
The heartwarming story of a Norscan marauder who prayed to Tzeentch for,quote,"Something a bit better than dual wielding!".

Turkish Massage Owl

06-23-2007, 10:32 AM

Yeahuh tell it like it is preachuh!!

PRAISE HIM!!!

boiled_owl

06-24-2007, 08:57 PM

I never know what to say to Tzeentch's witnesses so I usually don't answer the door. :confused:

sonofsigmar

06-24-2007, 09:16 PM

...may i interest you in a pamphlet?

come in please, meet my friend the Witch Hunter.

heavyhebrew

06-24-2007, 10:28 PM

*answers door completely naked*

"Tzeentchian witness? Am I interested in finding Tzeentch? Sure, come on in, let's find him together!"

PimpMyDisk

06-25-2007, 09:13 AM

come in please, meet my friend the Witch Hunter.

Hello Mr.Witch Hunter,would you like a pamph...what?Yes it's a Disk of Tzeentch.Oh,yes it's quite safe to pet...

ODDBALL

06-25-2007, 09:15 AM

Hello Mr.Witch Hunter,would you like a pamph...what?Yes it's a Disk of Tzeentch.Oh,yes it's quite safe to pet...

Actually its really not safe to pet. Or even be near. For anyone. Even allies.

sonofsigmar

06-25-2007, 05:00 PM

Hello Mr.Witch Hunter,would you like a pamph...what?Yes it's a Disk of Tzeentch.Oh,yes it's quite safe to pet...

erm, all mounts, pets, mechanical contraptions or warped organo-metallic organisms remain outside. that applies to Rusty as well.

PimpMyDisk

06-26-2007, 12:46 AM

erm, all mounts, pets, mechanical contraptions or warped organo-metallic organisms remain outside. that applies to Rusty as well.

Brilliant!I'm going to call my disk Rusty come release :)
If it's not copyrighted or anything of course :)

Taurth

06-26-2007, 04:24 AM

You mustn't be a very good Tzeentchian Witness, what if someone has steps leading to their front door?

:eek:

Ralzar

06-26-2007, 05:46 AM

You mustn't be a very good Tzeentchian Witness, what if someone has steps leading to their front door?

:eek:

Aw man, the Disk-vs-stairs jokes never grow old :D

mockingbyrd7

07-05-2007, 10:11 AM

ROFL, nice joke.

Ravana

07-05-2007, 10:19 PM

*Cuts off Tzeentch's head and stomps on it , squishing it into a gooey paste under his boot*

NO CHAOS ALLOWED! :cool:

Azyrn

07-07-2007, 01:38 PM

Azyrn: *opens door waxing freshly shaved head*
Azyrn: "Hello, may i help you ?"
PimpMyDisk: "I am a loyal follower of Tzeentch would you like a..."
Azyrn: "Wait here let me go get something!"
Azyrn: *comes back fully robed with his battle hammer*
PimpMyDisk: " errr i... i am going to go now .... FLY DISK FLY !!"
Azyrn: "FOR SIGMAR !!"
Azyrn: *eyes glow golden as an aura encompasses my hammer*
Azyrn: "I shall smite thee foul scum of chaos !!"
PimpMyDisk: "NO PLEASE I HAVE KIDS !! CUTE MUTATED KIDS PLEASE NO !!!!"
Azyrn: "Hmm, fine fine fine you can live but if i see you again you will PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE !"
PimpMyDisk: "That being ?"
Azyrn: "Shaving my back !"
PimpMyDisk: "Yea ... umm i am gunna go now !"

Remnant

07-11-2007, 10:05 AM

Suddenly, I find myself reminded of this comic:

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=200

Zeetchmen

07-11-2007, 10:12 AM

Git off mah lawn!

I get too many witnesses every day :x

Cypryss

07-13-2007, 03:25 PM

Ib4 Lock GG guys way to discriminate might want to add in Mormons in there while you are at it while you still can post.

Dracnye

07-16-2007, 12:39 AM

Yes I am "very" interested in finding Tzeentch, so I can show him the power of Righteous Fury.

<Insert random talk about Witch Hunters and them wanting to do things to your eyes with sharp pointy objects>

yaxleyshackelbolt

08-20-2007, 07:09 PM

Well come in, come in, and tell me about this Tzeentch. Does he offer good insurance? Not even dental? But he will let you transform your body into something similar to a picasso? Well im sorry but I just dont trust anyone who doesnt even offer dental and im not that interested in having four nipples and three arms. You might try the Domer residence down the street though.

Thoden Firehammer

08-20-2007, 07:44 PM

Ahh, welcome in lad, 'ere 'ave a pint.

So wuts this yer spoutin about? Chaos, an' this Zteentch ...
Hmm, well i'd love t' follow yer little ...fanatical killin, realeh I would, but yeh see, weh Dwarfs are jus' resistant tew that magic crap.

But I know yer face isn't resistan tew meh 'ammer!! for Grungni!!

Walrus

08-27-2007, 12:38 PM

"Hi im a witness of Tzeentch"
"Who's that then? You witness a murder or something? Tzeentch sounds like one o' those silly cult names". *cough* *cough*.
"Get of my anti-lore dandilion lawn, or i'll smash ye".

Aethelbeorht

08-29-2007, 09:23 PM

Disk versus steps? What, are they going to start spouting "EXTERMINATE" soon?

Volcano Mentality

09-10-2007, 07:37 PM

You mustn't be a very good Tzeentchian Witness, what if someone has steps leading to their front door?

:eek:
Hahaha, nice one. :D
*Cuts off Tzeentch's head and stomps on it , squishing it into a gooey paste under his boot*

NO CHAOS ALLOWED! :cool:
And you're a Chaos Chosen... :) ;)

***

"Why yes, I would love a pamphlet! I've been running a little low on firewood lately, this should burn just nicely! And so would you..." :twisted:

bricen

09-12-2007, 10:53 AM

By the Nine Divines (wait thats Oblivion) *Coughs* In the name of our blessed Sigmar you shall never convert me!:mad:

ll Monsters ll

11-29-2007, 08:27 PM

Black orc answers the door with a human leg dangling from his mouth....

BO: Whut?

TZ: Hi, I'd like to inter..est.......you..Where's the priest?

BO: Whutz a...'preest'?

TZ: Nevermind, you want a papmlet?

Black orc bites of his out stretched arm.

Another black orc emerges.

BO2: Whutcha got dere?

BO: Pamplet...It's kinda chewy. Wanna try?

BO2: Maybe, first I gotta go poop out dat 'righteous fury' we just ate.

Avatar_Anonymous

12-24-2007, 05:39 PM

*EDITED for content*

Pendrako

12-24-2007, 06:13 PM

stuff...
Are you sure I can't interest you in a pamphlet? It comes with a free warpstone pocket Eye of Tzeentch icon...

The Penguin Hunter

12-24-2007, 06:37 PM

Stuff

I'm not sure but I think this big long block of text is against forum rules....

Spiky Yellowteef

12-24-2007, 07:02 PM

Are you sure I can't interest you in a pamphlet? It comes with a free warpstone pocket Eye of Tzeentch icon...

And if you sign in the next 36 hours you get an free randomly placed mutations, except for the cost of you soul of course.

Are you sure you can miss the opperunity to get an extra limb?

Mutters

12-24-2007, 08:07 PM

*Takes Pamphlet through a mail slot in the door.*
*Examines Pamphlet thoroughly with magnifying glass and steam powered engineering contraptions, including a small warp lazer.*

*Tosses Pamphlet out through the mail slot*

"Sorry, you have spelling errors."