Halios
04-07-2006, 09:05 AM
Some people believe that because Orcs act stupid, they are, in fact, stupid. This is not true. Orcs are very thoughtful creatures. The problem, therefore, is not that they don`t think, it`s that they simply think to much, and are quite absentminded about what is going on around them.
Gork was thinking about food. If all lifeforms are carbon based, why do they taste so different? He had eaten a dwarf leg just the other day, and had enjoyed the taste, as well as his prolonged conversation with the dwarf, who had been quite upset about something that Gork couldn`t place his finger on, and while the dwarf`s efforts of communication had been very interesting, Gork felt that he may have insulted the dwarf when he pulled his beard off and ate that as well, but unfortunately Gork was unable to obtain a response from his acquaintance, having removed the dwarf`s head along with the beard. That wasn`t important, though. The important thing was that the beard had tasted NOTHING like the leg!! They came from the same element, right? So shouldn`t they taste the same? It was certainly something that Gork would have to give more thought too. Now, where was he? Gork looked down. Scenery passed by slowly several thousand feet below him. Ah yes. He`d been sitting in that catapult, hadn`t he.
Catapults. Anything from a series of levers and counterlevers to a rock and a spoon shaped piece of lumber. Gork hadn`t noticed what kind he had been launched from, and was currently busy looking at the sparrow that was flying beside him, and wondered absent-mindedly whether sparrows had to be launched from catapults too. This thought intrigued him so much that he failed to come to grips with the gravity of his situation until gravity was kind enough to grip him. He landed on a castle parapet, killed 3 soldiers, flew into several canons, detonated a munitions pile, and than got up and was immediately fascinated by the ability of human tissue to contort itself into such fascinating facial and bodily expressions. He saw a human head, peculiary devoid of body, staring at the sky with an expression he could only define as.. serene. Gork felt that he must research this. He reached over to his left where a man was apparently trying to hug him with knives, and smoothly removed the mans head. Oddly enough, the man protested profusely, but calmed down once his head was seperated from the body. Gork looked at the face like a carnival judge. This one just had his mouth open and his eyes wide. Gork had a wonderful thought. Maybe they all come with different expressions! So he rushed around, picking everyones heads off, trying to find a matching pair, becoming increasingly excited by this concept. They all look different! It`s like a signature! If only they would be kind enough to explain it to me..
This event, from the perspective of the Empire, is known as the One Orc Slaughter, and the rise of the great orc warboss Gork the Beheader.
I just wrote this on the spot for fun, no, I didn`t edit it, no, I don`t intend to, no it doesn`t follow the Warhammer IP at all, no, you shouldn`t criticize unless you intend to write a masterful and scholarly paper explaining your past experience with writing, your published works, and the 10th member of the fellowship of the ring. In other words, don`t criticize. If you don`t like it, move on. Yes, this is a lot of warnings to write.
Badgers.
Gork was thinking about food. If all lifeforms are carbon based, why do they taste so different? He had eaten a dwarf leg just the other day, and had enjoyed the taste, as well as his prolonged conversation with the dwarf, who had been quite upset about something that Gork couldn`t place his finger on, and while the dwarf`s efforts of communication had been very interesting, Gork felt that he may have insulted the dwarf when he pulled his beard off and ate that as well, but unfortunately Gork was unable to obtain a response from his acquaintance, having removed the dwarf`s head along with the beard. That wasn`t important, though. The important thing was that the beard had tasted NOTHING like the leg!! They came from the same element, right? So shouldn`t they taste the same? It was certainly something that Gork would have to give more thought too. Now, where was he? Gork looked down. Scenery passed by slowly several thousand feet below him. Ah yes. He`d been sitting in that catapult, hadn`t he.
Catapults. Anything from a series of levers and counterlevers to a rock and a spoon shaped piece of lumber. Gork hadn`t noticed what kind he had been launched from, and was currently busy looking at the sparrow that was flying beside him, and wondered absent-mindedly whether sparrows had to be launched from catapults too. This thought intrigued him so much that he failed to come to grips with the gravity of his situation until gravity was kind enough to grip him. He landed on a castle parapet, killed 3 soldiers, flew into several canons, detonated a munitions pile, and than got up and was immediately fascinated by the ability of human tissue to contort itself into such fascinating facial and bodily expressions. He saw a human head, peculiary devoid of body, staring at the sky with an expression he could only define as.. serene. Gork felt that he must research this. He reached over to his left where a man was apparently trying to hug him with knives, and smoothly removed the mans head. Oddly enough, the man protested profusely, but calmed down once his head was seperated from the body. Gork looked at the face like a carnival judge. This one just had his mouth open and his eyes wide. Gork had a wonderful thought. Maybe they all come with different expressions! So he rushed around, picking everyones heads off, trying to find a matching pair, becoming increasingly excited by this concept. They all look different! It`s like a signature! If only they would be kind enough to explain it to me..
This event, from the perspective of the Empire, is known as the One Orc Slaughter, and the rise of the great orc warboss Gork the Beheader.
I just wrote this on the spot for fun, no, I didn`t edit it, no, I don`t intend to, no it doesn`t follow the Warhammer IP at all, no, you shouldn`t criticize unless you intend to write a masterful and scholarly paper explaining your past experience with writing, your published works, and the 10th member of the fellowship of the ring. In other words, don`t criticize. If you don`t like it, move on. Yes, this is a lot of warnings to write.
Badgers.