Pipes!

[Eldrik]

Anyone think it would be a fun idea if dwarves in this game had pipes, the longer the pipe the higher the level. Like if a dwarven stronghold was under siege we could all break out the pipes, sit on the walls and taunt the orcs while smoking, that would be cool.

Views plx!

[Snorri]

Ah, thought you meant bagpipes!!! :cool:

Aye, dwarfs are quite fond of the old pipe. They have some mighty fine tobaco in the world edge mountains you know, mighty fine indeed.

Would be an interesting emote, to pull out a pipe and smoke it. Ingenious in fact :D

[Eldrik]

Ah, thought you meant bagpipes!!! :cool:

aye that would be cool too :cool:

[Accipiter]

You'll just set your beards on fire. Wait...no, I'll be doing that. :)

[Eldrik]

There's a strange mug of mushroom juice over there, why dont ya go over there 'n' try it?
:cool: atleast us dwarves smoke stuff as innocent as tobacco as Goblins are obvouisly addicted to the shroom :wink:

[MageLite]

What ya do iz, roit, ya takez a stuntie, ya tie 'im up, ya chopz 'iz beard off, an' den stick it inna pipe an' make 'im smoke it! Heh heh heh...

[Snorri]

You wish, grobi :p

Trust a greenskin to think you put the burning bit in your mouth ;)

Magelite, get back to the real war :p

[Accipiter]

There's a strange mug of mushroom juice over there, why dont ya go over there 'n' try it?
:cool: atleast us dwarves smoke stuff as innocent as tobacco as Goblins are obvouisly addicted to the shroom :wink:


ooooh, mushroom juice! mmmmmm

[Accipiter]

You wish, grobi :p

Trust a greenskin to think you put the burning bit in your mouth ;)

Magelite, get back to the real war :p


Hey, I've seen how bushy those beards get. It doesn't really matter what part of the pipe you light.

I wonder how long a dwarf beard would burn anway?

[MageLite]

Hey, I've seen how bushy those beards get. It doesn't really matter what part of the pipe you light.

I wonder how long a dwarf beard would burn anway?

Da stuntie beardz burn a long time, gobbo, coz theyz beardz growz so so big an' long coz it sucks all da goodness outta der heads. Explainz why da stunties are so fick.

[Snorri]

Depends really, if a dwarf accidentally smoulders his beard he will simply put it out.
Its not like our beards are incredibly inflammable, we dwarfs have jumped through walls of fire and escape with a mere singe to the eyebrows and chin.

To set fire to our beard properly, you’d have to capture us, tie us down and wait around for an hour after you ignite it.

And orcs lack the braincells to tie knots anyway… but even if they could, we all know it would be impossible, because you are weaklings :p

[Accipiter]

Depends really, if a dwarf accidentally smoulders his beard he will simply put it out.
Its not like our beards are incredibly inflammable, we dwarfs have jumped through walls of fire and escape with a mere singe to the eyebrows and chin.

To set fire to our beard properly, you’d have to capture us, tie us down and wait around for an hour after you ignite it.

And orcs lack the braincells to tie knots anyway… but even if they could, we all know it would be impossible, because you are weaklings :p

physically weak...mentally not so much. The best way to get you tied up would be to tell you that the first dwarf to strap himself down gets all the ale he can drink. You'd do it yourselves. *maniacal cackle*

[Eldrik]

No, we would just kill you and take all your ale. *Chuckles like an old man*

[MageLite]

No, we would just kill you and take all your ale. *Chuckles like an old man*

Cerrection'-da boyz'll kill da stuntiez, den piss in der ale.

[Snorri]

Oh you jumped in?

*Fills the pit with ale and throws twelve kegs of gunpowder in after it*

*Fires a flame cannon into the pit*

There we go, that should give you a few blisters.
Enjoy the ale whilst it's there.

[MageLite]

Oh you jumped in?

*Fills the pit with ale and throws twelve kegs of gunpowder in after it*

*Fires a flame cannon into the pit*

There we go, that should give you a few blisters.
Enjoy the ale whilst it's there.

Ya daft stuntie, dat wuz on of yoo stuntiez dat we painted green an stuck 'im in der! I jump'd outta der ages ago! Yoo stuntiez, yer fick an' blind...

[Accipiter]

Oh you jumped in?

*Fills the pit with ale and throws twelve kegs of gunpowder in after it*

*Fires a flame cannon into the pit*

There we go, that should give you a few blisters.
Enjoy the ale whilst it's there.


Mmm, yes. I should name myself "Blister". That's a good name for a nice gobbo like me.

What was the point of this argument again?

[MageLite]

Mmm, yes. I should name myself "Blister". That's a good name for a nice gobbo like me.

What was the point of this argument again?

Somefin' ta do with dem smelly stuntie pipez...

[Accipiter]

Somefin' ta do with dem smelly stuntie pipez...

Oh yeah. And their beards catching on fire.

*sighs for the time when Mag and he will be able to stab stunties rather than just laugh and point at them*

[Snorri]

The discussion was about pipes...
The argument was trying to beat it into this thick orc's head that he is inferior to the ferocity of the dwarfs :p

And if that was one of our dwarfs in the pit, he would have downed the ale before it did him any harm. ;)

*sighs for the time when Mag and he will be able to stab stunties rather than just laugh and point at them*
Aye, must be awful being weak.

[MageLite]

'Cept we stuffed iz mouff full of snotlin'..an' wurze...heh heh heh...

[Accipiter]

The discussion was about pipes...
The argument was trying to beat it into this thick orc's head that he is inferior to the ferocity of the dwarfs :p

And if that was one of our dwarfs in the pit, he would have downed the ale before it did him any harm. ;)


Aye, must be awful being weak.

It's not so bad being weak. We had to learn to use our brains.

*Herds Mag in Snorri's direction and calls down the fists of Gork and Mork*

[Snorri]

*Sigh*

*Watches as yet another runepriest dispells the two pathetic spells*
*Watches Maglite kill the runepriest, only to find there is another to take his place*
*Downs a tankard of ale*

I dont see you using your brains yet, snotling.

[MageLite]

*watches as a gobbo shaman with a bad head cold barely waves his staff*
*all the runepirests heads explode in green flashes*

Wherez yer rune-priestz now wiff der flashy lightz now, eh stuntie? ;)

[Snorri]

You just obliterated a herd of squigs... the dwraf runepriests are over there laughing at your feeble minded magics.

Oh! Wait! The goblins targetted them!
Ah, dispelled...
Oh! Reflected!

Ouch, that gobbo just blew his own head aprt..
Best go clear that up with your feather duster, orc.

[MageLite]

Squiggz, runepriestz, snotlin'z, whatz da differance? Youz all die, an' doze stoopid flashy runez don't do nuthin' anyway.

An fer every gobbo, stuntie, dat diez, derz a milly-on more wer dat came frum!

*watches as hundreds of thousands of gobbos charge over the hills, lifts up the runepriests and carries them away to kill and eat them*

[Snorri]

A horde which is easily torn to bits by flame cannons, organ guns, cannons, engineers and explosives.

Yes, I can see the terror now.
Haven’t quite got it into your small head yet have you? :p

And you'll be suppressed how many of your “tough” orcs tremble and cry once we dwarfs have finished bashing their bones to mush with our hammers.

Even without our runes, you are no match for the dwarfs. With our runes, it is like you are hitting a solid brick wall with an elf's head... useless, pathetic, ineffective, yet highly amusing.

[MageLite]

Yoo mean all dat stuff dat goes boom in yer facez an killz stuntiez an' stuff? I hatez it, it leavez less stuntiez fer da boyz ta kill! Da only rely-a-bul fing iz da powa of da WAAAGH, coz yoo know itz gonna make stuntie headz go BOOM! Hah hah hah...

[Snorri]

The WAAAGH power is very unreliable, but humerous to watch when the goblins explode their brains, or cast their spells on their own boyz, or cause havoc amongst their own ranks... stupid Grobi.

Our machines never turn on us, they just turn your army into piles of green goo and charred flesh.

Dont worry though, we have plenty of melee fighters to kill you too.

[MageLite]

Lizzen stuntie, da WAAAGH may do sum stuff wrong, but itz getz it right in da end, an blowz yoo stupid stuntiez inta little itzy bitzy pieces o' snotlin' crud!
Yer gunz shootin' a WAAAGH iz like stickin' pinz in da sea, and yer 'me-lee' fightaz just die when dey seez ma choppa.

[Snorri]

But the see is a roaring, ferocious and endless monster. Capable of tearing ships apart in one mighty smash from its waves. It has strength beyond imagination, it’s endless tides never cease, it swarms over the world like a mighty force of power.

Doesn’t sound anything like the orcs.

No, I'd say it is more like sticking pins into an elfs arse, very effective, very amusing, and very bloody.

Dwarfs dying at the sight of your choppa? That's an innuendo and a half. But I think you are mistaken, they'd simply cut your arms off and proceed to batter your skull in.

[Rik Riorik]

Pipes would be good. Pipes would be excellent. Any sort of emoting built in to this game to make the experience fuller is deserving of a pat on the shoulder. But in any which way even if it isn't in you could just emore something.

[MageLite]

Cerrection stunie, dat iz what da WAAAGH iz just like, an da stuntiez armies fightin da WAAAGH s like da rockz inna sea, dey getz caught up, bounced abut' an' den deyz is worn down ta nothin'.

Dis iz done by grabbin' two stuntiez by der beardz, swingin' 'em about an den throwing them inta a big spikey pit full 'o hungry squiggz. Den pissin' on what's left.

[Rik Riorik]

Ef nae soon 'em 'ere feckerish Urk ahn Grobi scom git th' feck oud orf ahr Ancestral 'alls there'll be naught else ter be dun ovver than ter take ah Dawi crafted mace ter 'eir 'eads ahn bash 'em in guud ahn proper ahn spilling 'eir vile bluud ahll oover. Nae tha' 'es wuldnae be ah guud idear en any which wai!

[Snorri]

Aye, we are the mighty the rocks in the sea. You crash upon us time after time, yet we never budge. We remain sturdy and strong, and shrug off your relentless attacks as if they were nothing.

Have an ale Rik Riorik, ye;ve earned two or three at least.

*Offers a steaming pipe* ;)

[Scirrocco]

He's earned two or three? Cause it looks like he's had two or three...

[Accipiter]

Ef nae soon 'em 'ere feckerish Urk ahn Grobi scom git th' feck oud orf ahr Ancestral 'alls there'll be naught else ter be dun ovver than ter take ah Dawi crafted mace ter 'eir 'eads ahn bash 'em in guud ahn proper ahn spilling 'eir vile bluud ahll oover. Nae tha' 'es wuldnae be ah guud idear en any which wai!

Huh? Anyone have any idea what he's saying? Although, since he's a stunty, it's probably something to do with drinking and falling down.

[MageLite]

Huh? Anyone have any idea what he's saying? Although, since he's a stunty, it's probably something to do with drinking and falling down.

Oh datz normal fer a stuntie. When deyz getz really drunk, datz when dey stand up.

[Balthemor]

Oh datz normal fer a stuntie. When deyz getz really drunk, datz when dey stand up.

No his not a dwarv just a drunk human. Us mighty dwarves are nothing like the scots in any way

[MageLite]

No his not a dwarv just a drunk human. Us mighty dwarves are nothing like the scots in any way

Oo said anythin about 'umiez? Yooz stuniez is drunk frum da moment yooz iz born, datz why yooz iz so bad at fightin' an datz why yer dyin' out like yez shud.

[Balthemor]

Oo said anythin about 'umiez? Yooz stuniez is drunk frum da moment yooz iz born, datz why yooz iz so bad at fightin' an datz why yer dyin' out like yez shud.

At least i don't have fungus for perents. If we were so bad at fighting howcome we've destroyed inumerable "WAAAGHS" it must be a death toll of 20 big orks per dwarvern female! Don't even get me started on death toll per dwarvern male.........You probably don't even understand how many 20 is let alone in the 100's

[MageLite]

At least i don't have fungus for perents. If we were so bad at fighting howcome we've destroyed inumerable "WAAAGHS" it must be a death toll of 20 big orks per dwarvern female! Don't even get me started on death toll per dwarvern male.........You probably don't even understand how many 20 is let alone in the 100's

Lizzen stuntie, Anyfin' iz better dan a stinkin' grit-eatin' stuntie fer a parent. An unless yoo hasn' noticed, stunite, yer stunitez iz dyin' out and da orcz iz alwayz growin' in numba. So good riddinze, coz I waz gettin' bored of stuntiez runnin' around.

[Balthemor]

Lizzen stuntie, Anyfin' iz better dan a stinkin' grit-eatin' stuntie fer a parent. An unless yoo hasn' noticed, stunite, yer stunitez iz dyin' out and da orcz iz alwayz growin' in numba. So good riddinze, coz I waz gettin' bored of stuntiez runnin' around.

Do not understimate us stupid one for the end of all is coming the final battle between dwarves and the orks. For when hammer meet "choppa" on the battlefield bodies will be given in sacrafice to the god of all war

P.S god of all war isn't wopshiped by orks dwarves elves chaos or anyone else.

[MageLite]

Final battle fer da stuntiez ya meen. After da boyz 'as killed all da non-orcy fingz in da wurld we'll just fight da best fightas der iz-da boyz.

Note: Dis 'ere threadz been spammed long enuff. Get back ter da figh tinna shavin' beardz thread or dis 'ere lad'll av to hit yaz till ya do :p

[Kraus]

Is there any reference at all with Dwarfs having pipes in Warhammer? =|

[Snorri]

Is there any reference at all with Dwarfs having pipes in Warhammer? =|

Gotrek and Snorri enjoy some World Edge Tobaco in the inn when they meet up in Daemonslayer ;) They use pipes.

[Finnblood]

References to pipes are pretty numerous and Dwarves are often portrayed smoking one. E.G. in a piece of Fluff in White Dwarf #CantRememberRightNow, it says that a Dwarf army halted to have a smoke and a pint and the slope was thick with smoke from all the pipes...

But, it's not only Dwarves who smoke. Humans have pipes and cigarettes too.

I bet the lame fun-killer, aka rating will not allow us to smoke in the game, cos then parents might think the game promotes smoking.

Great idea, but we won't have any goodies in the game :(
Try and make Mythic get the rating a bit higher and we might have some jolly splatter and suitable narcotics for each race ;)

[Kraus]

dont try and make mythic get a higher rating, because i'll lock the thread if ya do.. :P Its been done to death and its a fixed thing.

[GreyWarlord]

Aye. The 6th edition army book tells about dwarfs smoking pipes for leisure and dwarf regiment sets for TT come with pipes to equip dwarfs with. A truly necessary accessory!