Dwarf Council Chamber: Trial and Punishment

[Rabbitman]

ooc: Welcome to the Trial and Punishment thread, first of all I would ask that everyone here only post after much thought and respect for the thread, as it is a serious IN CHARACTER matter. The trial at this moment is of the Zaki Versuvius the Deranged and his crimes against the beard of Snorri, and also luy. Those who have been wronged by the accused are welcome to enter this hall to join the discussion, as are those Dwarfs who consider themselves old and wise enough, and are considered respected as Dwarfs when in character. If you have reason to believe you should be a part of this trial, please post an IC self-introduction to the hall, presenting your name and heritage along with your qualifications to be on the council. Without further rambling, I now begin the thread which will remain in character from this point onwards....

IC:
*Rabbitman the Ragged sits in a large stone seat beside that at the head of the long slab table, the larger gilded chair at the head of the table is empty in symbolism of the equality of all present.*

Members of the council, and those who have been wronged, we are gathered on no trifling matter of court. One beardling from our halls has committed a crime, and the crime is too grave to go untried.

If you have been welcomed to this council, you are a Dwarf whose thoughts on the matter are respected equally as anyone else assembled. As such, it has fallen to this council to decide to punishment most fitting to the crime.

The future of Zaki Versuvius the Deranged in the hallowed halls of this mighty hold rests with our decision at this trial, and as such the matter is, as you no doubt all understand, one of great seriousness and utmost importance.

I now open the chamber to any Dwarf wishing to take a seat at this council, to state their claim and announce themselves as befits the occasion.

This chamber is officially open.

[versuvius]

you know as soon as i read the name i knew i was in it...i was thinking maybe snorri had commented but oh well...oh by the way, i plead insanity and are not respinsible for my actions *spins around on helmet going woobwoobwoobwoobwoob*

[arthurfoxshot]

Well he might be abit of a rum lad because most of his posts
are just complete, uhhhhhh useless but apart from that
I havent been looking at the forums as active as some of you
so he does't bother me to much:p

[Snorri]

((What a brilliant idea ;) ))

"Aye, I have recorded a personal grudge against the accused, for he attacked not only my honour, but also the honour of our ancestors who died in the great War of Vengeance. His actions were unthinkable and make a mockery of the stout-hearted dwarfs that fell that day in honour of their forcefully shaved kinsman.

I do not enjoy making grudges against my kin, but the deranged one attempted to set my beard aflame, twice. Every single dwarf here, both long-bearded and stubble-short, knows of the importance of a dwarf’s beard within our society - it is a mark of wisdom, respect, and age. We went to war the last time some one deliberately and forcefully removed a proud son of Grungni’s beard... and an attempt to burn one's chin is no light crime, especially from a fellow dwarf.

As much as I would like smash the Zaki's face in and teach him a lesson for such a grave lack of respect; we are not savage barbarians, and such an act would not even be acceptable by the most hot-headed of beardlings. Instead I would like Versuvius to realise the great wrong he has committed and take the oath of a slayer.

However, the crazed one is, as many of us know, slightly insane. Most of his common sense and knowledge of dwarfen tradition was knocked out of his head when the orcish axe was buried in - sending a chunk of his skull flying to the ground.

And according to the deranged one, he has already taken the Slayer’s Oath fifteen times, and has done a very poor job of finding his almighty doom to regain his honour for whatever other past wrongs he has committed. Therefore, the taking of the oath seems to mean very little to him... but if that is the decision passed in this court then I will stand by it.

His crime is grave and this grudge is not settled until he comes to realise his actions for what they were – shameful."

[versuvius]

well actually i do know the laws and the lore and it was shameful and not very well thought out but absolutly hilarious

[Snorri]

"The very fact that you knew of the beard's importance, and deemed it humorous to set one ablaze, is a grave sign indeed."

[Okri]

*mutters behind his beard*

Some dwarf. Putting his own amusement above the honour of his kin... sheesh. He even dares to admit to the offense, yet shrugs it off as a simple jest. What will become of this...

*Gently shakes his head and sighs.*

((By the way, Versuvius seems to spend a lot of time, or at least a lot of posts, in the Chaos forums. A possible explanation to his... oddities?))

[versuvius]

i didnt think dwrfs had the capacity to be serene..i definatly dont be he does

[luy22]

*mutters behind his beard*

Some dwarf. Putting his own amusement above the honour of his kin... sheesh. He even dares to admit to the offense, yet shrugs it off as a simple jest. What will become of this...

*Gently shakes his head and sighs.*

((By the way, Versuvius seems to spend a lot of time, or at least a lot of posts, in the Chaos forums. A possible explanation to his... oddities?))

*gasps!*

I was there when he lit Snorri's beard alite!! I say we burn his chaos loving shell! He is of the Chaos Dwarfs!! He is no longer a Dwarf to us!!

[mongoose]

Eye fer an eye I say! Isnt that how it should be?!

I say we shave him clean, paint him green, glue tusks to his teeth and then deport him to the closest Greenskin encampment!

[luy22]

Eye fer an eye I say! Isnt that how it should be?!

I say we shave him clean, paint him green, glue tusks to his teeth and then deport him to the closest Greenskin encampment!

AYE!!! LET'S DO THAT!!!

[Rabbitman]

Rabbitman surveys the discussion before him with a bemused twinkle in his deep green eyes, the old Dwarf leaning forward in his chair to speak.

"In my eyes it should fall to those wronged by the Zaki, in this case Snorri and luy, to remove the beard from Versuvius' unworthy chin. This ritual shall be performed before all Dwarfs of the hold out upon the greatest peak of this range. Henceforth the Deranged shall be known as Beardless, for such is his dishonour. Were the Beardless one to take it upon himself to leave, such is his choice, however, I am not personally in favour of exiling him."

Leaning back in his chair, the Dwarf rubs his red beard.

"I leave the matter in your hands."

[luy22]

Rabbitman surveys the discussion before him with a bemused twinkle in his deep green eyes, the old Dwarf leaning forward in his chair to speak.

"In my eyes it should fall to those wronged by the Zaki, in this case Snorri and luy, to remove the beard from Versuvius' unworthy chin. This ritual shall be performed before all Dwarfs of the hold out upon the greatest peak of this range. Henceforth the Deranged shall be known as Beardless, for such is his dishonour. Were the Beardless one to take it upon himself to leave, such is his choice, however, I am not personally in favour of exiling him."

Leaning back in his chair, the Dwarf rubs his red beard.

"I leave the matter in your hands."

I say, we burn it off him! So that he cannot ever grow it back!!!

[Medivek]

Th'fact o' the matter is, lads, we're short on fighters. Shorter by th'week. Tae exile one o' our own, despite his deeds th'undeniable fact is we need ev'ry dwarf tae fight th'greenscum. Even if it is a zaki with more axe in 'is skull than brain.

Now. That ain't t'say I think th'blazed unbakari should be let off the axe's beard. M'personal judgement would be t'have 'im shaved by the victims of the beard-burnin' an' send 'im to the employ of King Ungrim Ironfist. Either the slayers teach 'im respect or he goes down fightin' greenscum..either way...his fifteen slayer oaths are fulfilled, or he fights greenscum...seems like a win-win t'me.

[Okri]

*stands up from his chair*

And you would have us fight alongside a known murderer of kin and burner of beards?
His only place on the field of battle, should be as the ammunition of one of this own wicked contraptions.
I think the punishment which has been decided upon is fitting, if but a bit mild.

*sits down again, bringing his pipe back to his lips*

[versuvius]

ey err do i get a say in this...ok maybe ill just put the handcuffs back on...who made these things any way...a blind orc with concussion could open the bloomin things...ah yes you may remove my beard, my chin needs a wash anyway *always look on the bright sode of life* *doo doo doo mdoo doo doo*

[Snorri]

"You wish for me to shave a dwarf’s beard?!"

Snorri stroked his own beard thoughtfully, appalled by the suggestion. The punishment was suitable for the crime, aye, but the old dwarf couldn't bring himself to tear away the hair from a kinsman's beard... in his eyes that made him no better than the deranged one himself. He couldn't bring himself to commit such a vile and honourless act - no matter how justified.

Snorri scratched his chin before speaking again.

"I don't think I can do that, fellow sons of Grungni. Versuvius must remove his own beard; I cannot tear away the roots from his chin, I do not have it in me to act as the elflings once did, no matter the justification."

"I also agree that having a dwarf who states he is a kinslayer and goes about setting light to his brothers' beards is a disgrace. I would rather die alongside side three stout-hearted dwarfen warriors in the name of Grimnir, than fight back the greenskins with a rabble of disgraceful mountainfolk who have no sense of dwarfen culture and principles."

"I am amazed that Versuvius still stalks these halls after the great wrongs he has committed in both deeds and words, but that is his choice."

Snorri stared at Rabbitman the Rugged and the others on the council, and smiled sadly.

"But I can't shave his beard."

[versuvius]

well im not shaving my beard im in handcuffs... and i will need a very sharp razor

[Okri]

*grumbles on behind his beard*

Everybody here holds to much honour for them to shave his beard off, and so the Deranged may go on unpunished. Though of course, he did not object to doing it himself.

*stands up*

Then somebody give him a blade for him to shave off his own beard...

*mumbles*... preferably a rather dull blade.

[luy22]

Or!! Or we can just throw him out! And LOCK him out!!!

[Medivek]

You're correct Okri, I defer to a wiser head. As odd as it sounds I hadnae though 'bout it tha' way. I was thinkin' he'd die in battle far more'n he'd have to fight wi' proper dwarves.

Th'only problem wi' shavin' 'im...It doesnae seem to teach 'im anythin'...appar'ntly 'e's done it afore.

[Snorri]

"Seems to me that the very rare dwarf's like the Zaki here will never learn their lessons, until they're hanging off some large greenskin's axe and denied entrance into the hall of our fathers."

"Unless slain in heroic combat, the deranged one will be turned away from the gates by our ancestors, and he will be doomed to wonder elsewhere and alone."

"And as it seems like he cares not for the slayer's oath, he has doomed himself to a life of shame. Unfortunately for him he will never stand amongst the mightiest of dwarfs, and never shall he drink from the tankards of our long-dead kin..."

"What happens to his honourless hide after death is not really what matters however. For we are posed with a problem... The Zaki should be shaved - but it means nothing to him... such is the lack of respect within his damaged mind."

[luy22]

Let's make him a backwards slayer!! Just shave his entire head of hair and throw him into the cold!!

((Btw, snorri, where're ya in the ungrim drengial thingymabob RP?))

[versuvius]

luy22 doesnt seem to like me much...oh well...i am sorry for the burnin o the beard but it was funny...ah well i have a different point of view form other dwarfs

[luy22]

luy22 doesnt seem to like me much...oh well...i am sorry for the burnin o the beard but it was funny...ah well i have a different point of view form other dwarfs

Let's see...

Luy22 doesn't seem to like me much... Oh well... I'm sorry for the burnin' 'o' the beard but it was funny... Ah well, I have a different point of view from other Dwarfs.

Corrected the spelling errors!! Yay!! I helped sombody!!

[Rabbitman]

Slowly opening his eyes, Rabbitman's old lips curl into a knowing smile at Snorri.

"It seems you are the Dwarf worthy of the trust I have in you Snorri, you speak with a wisdom greater than your beard. If those wronged by the Deranged one are too honourable to see him as anything other than a Dwarf, and therefore are unable to remove the beard that marks him so, then it is not for any of us to argue the point. Unless he removes it by choice, Versuvius' beard will stay firmly attached to his chin, whether he deserves the right to wear it or not."

Rabbitman pauses for a few long moments, his eyes lost in thought.

"Of course, this council has not been entirely in vain, we may have unearthed some deeper goings on than we had previously thought. In both our discussions and the mad ramblings of the Zaki in question himself, we have had it made clearer than mountain air that Versuvius is not, shall we say, a 'normal' Dwarf. Even by the standards of the term Zaki, Versuvius may well not be set in the ways and traditions of the great holds, but is not even leaning in their general direction. This beardling flaunts the honour and respect systems as though they were nothing, and acts improperly at the expense of his superiors and equals for the sake of his own amusement. It is not an accusation I flign wildly, but it has ocurred to me that the one we know as the Deranged Zaki may not be so, but in fact may not be one of us at all."

As the words begin to sink in, Rabbitman draws himself up to his full height in the heavy stone chair.

"Whether it be the touch of foul chaos or the behaviour of the vile greenskins, Versuvius has shown he is more Orc than Dwarf! Perhaps the suggestion of chaos marked treachery is on the mark, maybe he is a chaos Dwarf rather than one of us, but despite their twisted and insane ideals and beliefs, and their dastardly honourless actions, those scum who marr the name of our ancestors behave in a still more honour-bound and ordered manner than our young beard burner. It is in my mind that I start to see the beginnings of a greater treachory yet, aided by some foul muddling of our minds or trick of illusion, I believe that Versuvius is no Dwarf at all, but in fact a Greenskin! He seems interested only in the biggest weapons, and the crudest warmachines, not caring for the welbeing of his allies in battle so long as he inflicts pain on someone. Is this not the way of the Orcs and their pathetic Goblin friends? How many similarities between his own inventions and those used against us by our enemy have we seen? How often have we been forced to remind Versuvius that unlike the barbaric Orcs we are a cultured society? How many weaponsmiths have been drawn into arguments with the bearling over size versus quality? Was it not he that attempted to weild a Dwarfish Great-axe in each hand? Again, I am not the be all and end of of this council, and my word is not final, but I suggest that we see through whatever foulness has fooled our senses up until now, and reveal the Deranged Engineer in his true form!"

With a livid excitement and energy behind the colour of his eyes, Rabbitman finished his tirade standing fully on the seat of his chair with one armoured finger pointed emphatically at the chained Versuvius.

[luy22]

"I say we give him two weeks. But! There IS a catch!!"

*stands up on the stone risers*

"We shall give him two weeks to prove himself! In these weeks, he needs to learn to speak properly..." ((Spell Check.)) "And..."

*pauses for a moment so everyone can quiet down*

"We shall force him to live with the Orcs!"

[Bolg]

"NAY TO ALL YER CROWING YA BLIGHTERS!!!" roars Bolg the Benobbled.

"I say while good Snorri can have his pick o' punishments for the limey one on trial, I propose we shave off his beard by dipping it in honey and staking him on an anthill and wait for the ants to come an' shave him themselves."

"And when thats through we'll get some manling Elfie impersonators to dress him up in "Elf clothes" and make 'im look like a blasted elf. Parade him to all the holds of the dwarfs as a goof ball fool before setting him loose as decoy for Greenskin attacks and Grobi's! Every dwarf knows that the only thing Greenskins love to smash more than us, is a dwarf who looks like an elf"

Looks around at the blank stares of the other dwarfs.

"Well.... if it dunnae work at least we and the Greenskins will have sommat to laugh at while we insult the durned bloody Elves at the same time."

[Grombir]

"Allright, I think it's about time I expressed my opinion on this matter" is heard from the shadows.

Grombir lights his pipe in order to let the other dwarfs know of his whereabouts and offcourse for his own enjoyment.

"Now I'm hearing a lot of talk about shaving beards. Well, let it be known that I'm against it. Yet if the counsel decides this, there's not much to do about it. Luckely for Versuvius, Snorri refused this task. And as it stand, Snorri and Versuvius himself are the only ones who may do the shaving. So i'm sure he'll be keeping his beard"

Grombir draws in and exhales some smoke from his pipe.

"Not that the punishment would be of much use. There's a rumor that Versuvius built a machine that will grow his hair back. Now, were not here to discuss the morality of this contraption. But if this rumor is true and not just the rantings of a madman than you can tell that this punishment will be pointless."

Grombir sighs

"It seems that the next punishment will be banishment. I'm afraid I'm against this aswell. The idea of a dwarf unable to get a chance to regain his honour just seems like an injustice in itself."

Grombir grins

"Therefore I propuse a different solution; We send Versuvius on a mission or pilgrimage as it may. Offcourse this should be no easy task. A difficult quest has allways been a way to gain maturity and wisdom. Who knows his antics might be because of his workload. This quest will allow him some time for him to reflect upon himself and for us to find some rest. I say we allow him to regain his honour this way."

[versuvius]

after the readin o the posts and viewing my hilarious antics (only to me) and i see the shame i have brought upon my fellow dwarfs...i also implore you to accept my appologies and i will suffer any penalties i have brought onto myself with my stupid orcish antics (posibly elfish too)

[mongoose]

Bah! He be tryin' to throw us off the track! Dont believe this ones forked tounge!

Recanting his actions after repeatedly taking pleasure in them!.....Tis evil brewing behind those eyes and we mussnt fall for this ruse!

He needs to have this craziness purged from him!.........I say either have a RunePriest be summoned to try and excise this devil OR.......We drag him over to the Empire and have a Warrior Priest of Sigmar burn it outta him with holy fire!

Course we could just have a someone here give em a GOOD smack upside the head to see if that corrects the ailment first :mrgreen:

<spits in his hands and picks up a sizable 2 handed hammer>

[Bolg]

/follows mongoose' cue

"I'll hold 'im down! He might struggle and take out someone's eye instead of their beard..."

:p

[versuvius]

o cmon hes a skaven...listen to that backstabbing ratarsed rat and your all no better than me!! ok maybe a little better

[mongoose]

o cmon hes a skaven...listen to that backstabbing ratarsed rat and your all no better than me!! ok maybe a little better

I might sport a rat as my avatar but make no mistake, Im ALL Dwarf at heart!

I fully intend on playing a RP before the Skaven invasion :mrgreen:

[versuvius]

stupid ratman....*grumble* i say we but him on trail for perverting the course of justice...after yehv done wi' me tha' is

[Smachaz]

stupid ratman....*grumble* i say we but him on trail for perverting the course of justice...after yehv done wi' me tha' is

You are not well placed to be makin' decisions about justice.

[STARSBarry]

*slowly stands up and uses axel grease to slick back hair into spikes facing back*

OBJECTION! *while pointing at the prosecuter with weird animated white blobs flying past*

*slams desk loudely*

the defedent has EVERY RIGHT to be making decisions about justice

*slams desk again*


(if you dont get the in-joke http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=1697138 for the answer)

[Smachaz]

*slowly stands up and uses axel grease to slick back hair into spikes facing back*

OBJECTION! *while pointing at the prosecuter with weird animated white blobs flying past*

*slams desk loudely*

the defedent has EVERY RIGHT to be making decisions about justice

*slams desk again*


(if you dont get the in-joke http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=1697138 for the answer)

http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=1697172

[STARSBarry]

http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=1697172

haha nice i fixed it here http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=1697189

ahem anyway back into character

but i have substantiel evidense to bring to light

[luy22]

We have not even made a descition yet?!?!? GAR!!

[mongoose]

stupid ratman....*grumble* i say we but him on trail for perverting the course of justice...after yehv done wi' me tha' is

Aye, I may look like a rat on the outside but at least Ive behaved like a proper Dwarf where it counts, in me heart!!!

Whereas YOU have been behaving like you possess the heart of a.....GOBLIN! :shock:

Maybe thats it! <checks for the zipper on Ver's 'Dwarf' suit to expose him for what he....err IT, REALLY is>

[luy22]

Aye, I may look like a rat on the outside but at least Ive behaved like a proper Dwarf where it counts, in me heart!!!

Whereas YOU have been behaving like you possess the heart of a.....GOBLIN! :shock:

Maybe thats it! <checks for the zipper on Ver's 'Dwarf' suit to expose him for what he....err IT, REALLY is>

*GASPZZORZ!!*

[versuvius]

NO ONE TOLD ME I COULd HAVE A LAWYER!! luy22 why are you a pirate

[Smachaz]

NO ONE TOLD ME I COULd HAVE A LAWYER!! luy22 why are you a pirate

He converted to Empire. Its a picture of a Knight i believe.

[versuvius]

then setting his beard alight was ok then...snorris wasnt.... im only on half a trial now

[mongoose]

then setting his beard alight was ok then...snorris wasnt.... im only on half a trial now

Now lets NOT loose sight of the goal here! Vers is still tryin' to distract ye from the problem! :shock:

Dammit......he wont hold still long enough to lemme find tha blasted zipper!.......I need some help lads! A few of ya need to take hold of the blighter so we can unmask this Goblin in Dwarf's clothing.


side bar: ones avatar shouldnt be the sole defining identifier of weather one is of true Dwarf stock or not. To give proof of my TRUE heart I would direct your attention to 2 of my 'past lives' (see the sig ;) )

course Ive also heard that once you go Orc you never go back :mrgreen:

[luy22]

then setting his beard alight was ok then...snorris wasnt.... im only on half a trial now

Naw, lookie at my siggy! I'm still gonna have a Dwarf!! (wish sombody'd continue our ungrim drengial RP but whatever) So, guess who's back on FULL trial!


...GAR!

[versuvius]

you converted from dwarfs to empire damnit!! avatars mean more than just a little message...not much but meh

oh and mongoose...if you ever call me a goblin again i will shave you

[Smachaz]

you converted from dwarfs to empire damnit!! avatars mean more than just a little message...not much but meh

oh and mongoose...if you ever call me a goblin again i will shave you

I think he made Snorri's point right there.

[Snorri]

“What? That he still doesn’t understand that he shouldn't threaten to shave fellow dwarfen beards?”

((And I have a Dwarf avatar, but I am also an Orc fan and a Skaven fan. (Dwarfs being number one of course ;) ))

[Rabbitman]

It saddens me that in light of my silence these hallowed halls have been over-run not only by Orcs and other uninvited speakers, but by the plagues of indecision, bickering and even disrespect. This insanity threatens each and every one of us, and whether what remains of the council reach a final verdict or not, I personally stand by the notion that Versuvius is in fact a Greenskin. In putting so much value on the so called "avatars" of all that are present, he has again used his own visual appearance to mask the unmistakably Orcish behaviours and morals that dwell within his very bones. I say the time has come to treat the foul beast not as one of our own, but as the green enemy that he truly is. When the call to arms reaches these halls, I will be proud to seperate his tusked head from his green shoulders with the business end of my axe. I shall enter his name in the Dammaz Kron as a spy and a traitor, you may continue your petty arguments in my wake, for the time for honour and respect is still upon us, and I cannot sit idle and witness the desecration of this hall any longer. Your time is now your own.

*With book and quill in hand, Rabbitman bows his respects to Snorri, before exiting the chamber*

[luy22]

Yeah well, I've been a long-time Empire fan for like, 5 years and I got half an army of them woot! So, I like em most, next to that are Dwarfs, then Orcs, then chaos. Err... Back to topic.... GUILTYYYY!

[Okri]

((Fan of nearly every Army of Warhammer, not High or Wood Elves))

Well, I think the decision is all but made. Versuvius, as the grobi of mind and possibly body, that he is, shall be exiled from all the holds of the dwarfs, under punishment of public humiliation, not that he has not done that in plenty himself, and afterwards death should he somehow gain entrance, or what say you, my brethren?

[luy22]

((Fan of nearly every Army of Warhammer, not High or Wood Elves))

Well, I think the decision is all but made. Versuvius, as the grobi of mind and possibly body, that he is, shall be exiled from all the holds of the dwarfs, under punishment of public humiliation, not that he has not done that in plenty himself, and afterwards death should he somehow gain entrance, or what say you, my brethren?

NAY! I say that exile is good enough a punishment!!

[Snorri]

Goblin blood runs in his veins, sure enough.

*Bows to Rabbitman as he leaves the hall*
*Nods in agreement with Okri*

[Okri]

NAY! I say that exile is good enough a punishment!!

And exiled he shall be, yet what shall happen if he should somehow gain entrance to any of our holds? That is what I meant by the public humiliation and, possibly, death.
Yet, his punishment to returning can wait to be determined until the time it should occur, if it does so.

[mongoose]

Well I admit to only hearing of the 'beard incident', not having been there in person and came to this tribunal to see exactly what was what...........but after seeing the evidence presented, the admission of the accused AND THEN the public threat of the loss of my own beard! Im at a bit speechless.

Anyone who would so casually desecrate our ancestral symbol of pride can be no Dwarf that I know of. Thats like threatenin' ta kick a lad in his fellas! You just dont do it! It aint normal I tell ya.

There is one possibility I hadnt considered till now though...........maybe....just maybe, poor Vers was raised by Humans or dare I say <gasp> *said in a low whisper* Elves :shock:

<loud murmuring can be heard throughout the hall>

That would put reason to his treating of our customs and his kin's beards with such flagrant disregard.

So if he can show us some proof he wasnt raised by Dwarfs we should then take pity on him and some understanding Dwarf should take him under their wing and teach him our ways.

BUT!........if he still claims to be raised dwarf then he must be exposed for the Goblin that he is and removed from these hallowed halls!

[luy22]

...cut out his tounge??

[Snorri]

Either the accused was raised by humans, or he was raised by goblins.

[Rabbitman]

Through his admission of full knowledge of the traditions he has broken, the Grobi Versuvius has removed any chance of such a plea. Raised and experienced in life under our roof, but a foul green enemy nonetheless I say.

[versuvius]

THATS IT ALL OF YEH IN THE BOOK OF GRUDGES!! i was raised by dwarfs through and through and though my highly stupid and mentaly impared actions may ultimatly lead to my demise but any slander on my family or my clan up north (to which point im considered mild mannered) they will ultimatly feel the power of thousands of hot mortar launchers bombarding their arses...

[mongoose]

<all this being said as he's picked up by 4 dwarfs, carried forcefully to the outskirts of the town, and then given the ol' heave ho......into a snowbank>

"THATS IT ALL OF YEH IN THE BOOK OF GRUDGES!! I was raised by dwarfs through and....hey! what do ya think youre doin? .......through and though my highly stupid and mentally impaired <Vers is picked up> actions....wait!....put me down dammit!......... may ultimately lead to my demise...hey Im ticklish there, be more careful! <council hall doors are flung open.........Vers ranting tapers off into the night>........<we rejoin the 'escort' on the edge of town 5 min later, Vers is still ranting>.......but any slander on my family or my clan up north (to which point im considered mild mannered) they will ultimately feel the power <Dwarfs start swinging Vers back and forth counting> ..."and a 1 and a 2 and a......" of thousands of hot mortar launchers bombarding their..... <Vers is tossed in a high arc and lands face first in a snowbank> waaaaaaaaah! ..... arses.

[luy22]

<all this being said as he's picked up by 4 dwarfs, carried forcefully to the outskirts of the town, and then given the ol' heave ho......into a snowbank>

"THATS IT ALL OF YEH IN THE BOOK OF GRUDGES!! I was raised by dwarfs through and....hey! what do ya think youre doin? .......through and though my highly stupid and mentally impaired <Vers is picked up> actions....wait!....put me down dammit!......... may ultimately lead to my demise...hey Im ticklish there, be more careful! <council hall doors are flung open.........Vers ranting tapers off into the night>........<we rejoin the 'escort' on the edge of town 5 min later, Vers is still ranting>.......but any slander on my family or my clan up north (to which point im considered mild mannered) they will ultimately feel the power <Dwarfs start swinging Vers back and forth counting> ..."and a 1 and a 2 and a......" of thousands of hot mortar launchers bombarding their..... <Vers is tossed in a high arc and lands face first in a snowbank> waaaaaaaaah! ..... arses.

roflmaolol!!!

[Okri]

*Dusts off his hands*

"Be it so, the zaki has been flung out, never to return again. Now, a proper drinking would be in order, upon the completion of our honourable deed. Shall we proceed to the drinking hall, or are there more to be tried before the council?"

[Snorri]

Well that got rid of that goblin-spawned warp sniffer.

Time for an ale lads.

[versuvius]

*versuvius walks into local bar* hey! get me an ale! tough night, a bunch of sods threw me out of the town gates, luckily i had a transport mortar! *some hours later*hey look who it is coming through the door! its them sods that threw me out! hey guys same time tomorrow! *falls over and is subsiquently thrown out again* (after a local wizzard summons up a snowbank)

[Snorri]

No dwarf would dare show his face after being cast out by his kin, he would be too busy roaming the mountains looking for monsters, and he would feel too ashamed to re-enter the halls of his ancestors... this confirms our suspicions.

;) :p

[versuvius]

iv lived in the mountains all my life...they are grey and depressing...like this bloody town...im buggering off to karak eight peaks or hirn...i need an ale...ah screw it *walks out* *walks in* oh yeh who ever owns the cart with the bugmans in, im procuring it in the name of idiots BUY!! *versuvius is never seen again in this particular town...if were in eight peaks now, !!

[Snorri]

If you show your face at Karak Hirn - the dwarfs there will cast you out as we have done so here. Word spreads quickly when such vile actions come to pass within our very halls.

Return to Karak Eight Peaks to the rest of your Greenskin brothers and Grobi playmates. We want all you snotlings in one place when we wipe you from the gnarled ancient peaks of the mountains and reclaim our lost holds!!

[versuvius]

you may have realised i have changed characters...i cont make a new acc with my e mail therefore im am a dwarf friend of the white mountain clan...the standard versuvius is a clan member but doesnt represnt the clan...sept the mortar launching battle rage, thats about accurate...or as accurate as a mortar can be

[luy22]

It seems...


The deed is done...

Na na na na, na na na na... Hey, hey, hey... Goodbye...

[Ripple]

((Such a strange, disturbing drama.))

[Boulvae]

(Don't worry, you havn't seen strange deranged drama yet.)

[mongoose]

No dwarf would dare show his face after being cast out by his kin, he would be too busy roaming the mountains looking for monsters, and he would feel too ashamed to re-enter the halls of his ancestors... this confirms our suspicions.


Never fear Brother, when we pitched him into the snow we also revoked his official Dwarf membership card :mrgreen:


And Vers,

If you INSIST on still walking the Dwarven path, then at least do the proper thing an take tha oath! You have brought great shame upon you an your kin and the only thing left is to join the ranks of Slayers.......may your death in battle finally prove you to be the Dwarf you claimed to be in life. Tis the only way to redeem your sorry hide me thinks!

[versuvius]

ok!! i will do that!! i will go to eight peaks with only water an bread for food and drink and take my oath...then go back to my workshop and see about some good tea... and I (being in second char) will say WAAAAAGH!! YOU MORON

[mongoose]

<secretly meets with Vers to hand him a pot of orange dye, a good sharp knife to scrape the hair from his head, and some pig fat to keep his new mohawk stiff>

Be off with ya to go die well! /waves

[versuvius]

*slayer oath over* *not doing in real life you moron* well i look a reet pillock without my beard

[Prophet]

I say we got ta drink some beer!

[versuvius]

if i was versuvius mark one i would agree...currently im inclined to say...wheres the stronger stuff

[Nezumiiro Kitsune]

BEER! WHERE! Bring out the beer and we'll have a trial, yer wussy elves couldn't hold me out for a pint in a drinking contest, I'd double yer best count then triple that. I've seen manlings that could down more than you lot!

[versuvius]

oi moron weve had the trial already...its bee established that i had been thrown into a snowdrift

[Nezumiiro Kitsune]

Figure o' speech ya bloody Greenskin. Now wheres that beer?

[versuvius]

sissy elf....

[Okri]

*Looks at Versuvius and raises an eyebrow*

You still here?

[Snorri]

*Passes Nez a beer*
*Passes Verv an unlit dwarfen bomb*
*Passes Okri a lighter*

:D

[versuvius]

*lights and eats bomb* mmmmm got ne more... *BOOOOOOM!!* sorry, had beans earlier

[mongoose]

I thought you took the slayer oath to go off and get yourself killed to reclaim your honor?! :confused: I think its high time you now fulfill that oath. :rolleyes:

/leaves a boot print in Vers backside as hes kicked BACK out into the snow.

An we dont wanna see ya back here til ya have taken a 1000 Orc tusks!

/closes the town hall doors

[versuvius]

*walks back in* yeh knows i have killed many orks and i had a store em....here count em *counts 999* oi bigbelly lend me a tusk! "mumble...fine but you owe me a hole years supply of bugmans!! "

OOC: its owns having 2 chars

[mongoose]

*walks back in* yeh knows i have killed many orks and i had a store em....here count em *counts 999* oi bigbelly lend me a tusk! "mumble...fine but you owe me a hole years supply of bugmans!! "


/slaps forehead hard enough that it echos throughout the hall

THOSE ARE BOAR TUSKS YOU #@!$% SLAYER!

/'applies' a second boot print to Vers backend

/BARS the doors

[versuvius]

theyr ork tusks you moron...i may do faft things but never lie about greenies iv killed

[mongoose]

Last time I looked, the Orcs in these parts use a "c" and not a "k".

Its not surprising then that you are confusing boar and Orc teeth :rolleyes:

[Snorri]

It's not about what you've killed that we're interested in.
We're interested in what the hell is going to kill you. :p

[versuvius]

well i have the uncaniest luck of escaping against my wish...of course when im still working the kinks outa these tinkerings iv made i donw wanna die....yet, although i cant pass up the chance of blowing something up

[Nezumiiro Kitsune]

Bad luck I'd call it meself! Or did you see an elf... maybe some Skaven beat you up! Oreyt than I'll help ya make the big bad Skaven go away... Bahahahaaha ~throws back a pint o' Bugmans finest~ Reyt I'm off, got some glory to get meself! Oh I like Oaths lots of Oaths covered in GOLD AND BEER! ~walks off singing~ Oaths and Gold Beer and Axes get me AN HAMMMMER OOORRRRR TWOOO!

[versuvius]

i now think we have another theme tune to along with in the gravy and lumberjack song lol