Wayfarers Guide to the Waaagh

Garthilk · 08-28-2006, 08:22 PM

This is an excerpt of Pendrako's guide to the Waaagh. Mind you, from the perspective of outsiders very little is really known about the Waaagh or Orcish culture. However the intrepid explorer Pendrako has done is best to catalogue his adventures. Of special note, deliberate caution should be used when approaching any Orc or Goblin as this guide is not meant to predict their actions or their behaviours.

Da Bosses bash da Big 'Unz and tells dem wot to do. Da Big'Unz bash da boyz and tells 'em wot to do. Da boyz bash da gobbos and tells 'em wot to do. Da gobbos ain't got no-one to bash, so they does all da work. That's da way fings are.

With their tough green hides, vicious tusks and belligerent attitude, Orcs are perfectly suited to doing that which they do best - fighting. Orcs go out of their way to find a good fight, and they are happiest when engaging in a proper bit of mindless slaughter and carnage. In this they are frequently aided by the Goblins, who tend to be just as violent but in a sneakier, nastier fashion.
The only trait which Greenskins respect when it comes to leadership is strength. As Greenskins grow older, they grow in stature, becoming tougher and stronger. The biggest and most powerful Orcs are able to challenge for leadership of the tribe to become the Warboss, which they can only do by fighting and beating the existing Warboss. Their love of fighting means that Greenskin tribes are frequently fighting other tribes, since they're usually the nearest opponents capable of putting up a decent fight. Occasionally, a tribe will recognize the obvious superiority of a rival Warboss, and the two tribes will join together to form an even stronger tribe. If an especially strong Warboss appears, his tribe can quickly become the dominant force in the area, as all the smaller local tribes are compelled to submit to his leadership, forming into one massive rampaging horde. This is known as the Waaagh!

WAAAAAAGH!

For Orcs and Goblins, the Waaagh! is more than just a battlecry or a military phenomenon. When Greenskins gather together, their collective orcyness generates strange magical energies. This Waaagh! energy is believed to be a gift from the Greenskin gods Gork and Mork. Gork is the god of cunning brutality, whereas Mork is the god of brutal cunning, although the two are often confused. Powerful shamans often join a Waaagh! to direct the Warboss according to the will of Gork and Mork. Greenskin shamans have a natural affinity to Waaagh! energy, acting as conduits to collect energy from those around them. Powerful shamans usually live apart from regular Greenskin society, since uncontrolled Waaagh! energy can be catastrophic to a shamans well-being, discharging in a variety of loud flashes, sparks and explosions. With the numbers involved in a Waaagh!, the energy generated by the Greenskin horde is amplified to the extent that experienced shamans can draw upon it to cast spells of massive power. The more exited and aggressive the nearby Orcs and Goblins are feeling, the more energy is given off, and when a Waaagh! goes to war the magic wielded by their shamans can be devastating indeed.

Orcy know-wotz

Another effect of Waaagh! energy is to amplify the instinctive cunning of Greenskins, allowing them to make use of basic military tactics and construct crude but devastating war machines which would be inconceivable to normal Greenskin tribes. Whether this knowledge is passed on by Gork and Mork, learnt by observing the activities of other races, or is simply some latent instinctive knowledge is unknown.The biggest Waaaghs recorded in history have been known to construct massive war machine factories or entire fleets of warships in a matter of days. Even if they wanted to, it's doubtful that any Greenskin could explain how or why they are able to do these things, since they only see them as a way to get on with the important business of more fighting.

While the Waaagh! remains unbeaten, it will continue to grow in strength, but if it is decisively beaten it will lose all momentum and gradually start to disperse. The smaller tribes which make up the Waaagh! will wander off to find new fights of their own, and the original Warboss - if he still lives - will find his forces gradually dwindling. However, this point can take many months, even years to get to, and in this time the Waaagh! could have migrated many leagues and cut a swathe through the realms of men, Dwarfs and even Elves. When a Waaagh! is born, not even the mightiest generals should feel safe, for throughout history fine cities have been razed to the ground and great leaders have been overthrown and trodden into dust by the unstoppable brutality of the Orcs. Truly, the Waaagh! is one of the most powerful forces of destruction ever devised by nature.

Yerz got to make yer mark summhow. See as a Goblin, yer?ll get killed an 'et by Orcs or even other Goblinz if theyz not scared of yer or if yer not useful to 'em. I wozn't all dat big but when an Orc tried to pull me arm off I made 'is 'ead explode. Then dey woz a bit scared of me, an' they knew I?d be useful too.

Freigeist · 08-29-2006, 03:07 PM

With the friendly approval of Pendrako himself, I translated the older version of this text for our german spreaking friends. So, if your english isn't that good and you are able to understand german, here the german translation:

German Version

Bluddsport · 10-17-2006, 07:43 AM

Wow that was really informative. I didn't know that Greenskins had that much to them. Almost makes me consider them worthy of playing once the game comes out. Almost but not

Chaot · 10-19-2006, 06:47 PM

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Damonisch · 11-14-2006, 05:22 PM

me'z can'tz wait for da waaaaaaagggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Damonisch Schatten
" soon to be Choppa "

Smachaz · 11-17-2006, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chaot

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Damonisch

me'z can'tz wait for da waaaaaaagggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Damonisch Schatten
" soon to be Choppa "

Diz is ow ya do itz

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

Btw, nice texte